I’m now subject to the all-time favourite question for newly married couples – “So how’s married life?” Funny how people already expect the same old answer when they ask this same old question. I guess it’s just the joy one gets from being able to ask it, cos it’s not like you have friends getting married every day. And since Ben n I are one of the first few among our friends to be legible ‘Subjects to The Question’, we get it quite a lot lah.
So the same old answer is that life’s the same, just that I guess there’s double in everything now. I don’t just mean stuff, like his books n mine, his stuff n mine, etc. There’s double of everything in everything we think, do and feel. “I” now becomes “we”, so whatever plans we make, whether immediate or for the future, all our hopes, dreams, prayers, goals, involve “us”. You switch from being a self-centred being to a couple with a central “system”, if that makes any sense. It’s not a big ‘switch’ since you would probably have gotten enough ‘training’ beforehand. All the mushy stuff that even non-married couples go through still stays, as it should.
You’re happy when he’s up, and sad when he’s down, you hurt when he hurts, and you’re always there for him, rain or shine, day or night, whether you like Jay Chou or not…. You live your life for each other. And of course all the important issues would have been dealt with and ironed out way before to make the ‘transition’ seamless, and the rest of the journey is just up to how we make it work along the way.
Another favourite question – “So how does it feel to be married?” Should it be anything else other than super? But to be detailed, I guess it kinda changes you a little. Not obvious changes but changes within you. The first thing you feel is obviously relief after all the chaos from the Big Day and the crazy planning before then. So the best thing to take note of is how you feel the day after. It was really weird ‘cos apart from feeling on top of the world, everything else was pretty cool. Like you get out of bed n look at yourself in the mirror and something just feels different. Even my hair n complexion seemed perfect… no sleepy eyes, no messy crazy hair…
And then you just feel a sense of pride I guess. Like, hey, I’m married. Like naik pangkat already lah. As a married couple we just feel this sense of responsibility to set a good example for our friends who aren’t married yet, cos we know how there are moments in your life when you feel marriage is over-rated, or marriage is a burden, or it ties you down or takes away your freedom or changes you (or your wife/husband makes you change)… Everyone knows it’s not a bed of roses, and of course some feel it’s a risk.
But if you find someone that you’re willing to ‘risk’ everything for and vice versa, then marriage will never be a risk but just something that both of you work hard at. It’s a blessed Sacrament, as well as vocation… So just like how you work hard at building a career, you give it your all - blood, sweat, tears, and in this instance, teamwork of course :o)
But if you find someone that you’re willing to ‘risk’ everything for and vice versa, then marriage will never be a risk but just something that both of you work hard at. It’s a blessed Sacrament, as well as vocation… So just like how you work hard at building a career, you give it your all - blood, sweat, tears, and in this instance, teamwork of course :o)
Other than that, Ben n I are still the same old Ben n Bernie. Annoyingly loving with our secret jokes and funny antics, I’m still kinda messy n he’s still obsessively neat, I’ll always be a minah rock n he’ll always love Jay n we’ll both always hate that techno stuff, and always able balance our strengths and weaknesses so that we actually help each grow as better individuals.
“I guess the time was right for us to say, we’ll take our time and lives our lives together, day by day. Make a wish and send it on a prayer, we know our dreams can all come through if love in we can share --- With you I never wonder, will you be there for me? With you I never wonder, you’re the right one for me --- Still we both know that the road is long, we know that we will be together because our love is strong --- I’ve finally found the love of a lifetime, a love to last my whole life through… Forever in my heart, I’ve finally found the love of a lifetime…”
- Firehouse
