Can we be friends?

For my short stay in Singapore, I managed to squeeze in a few trips to the library. Man... I miss Singapore libraries n access to so many good books! I miss being able to lug home a huge stack of books that I'd never be able to get my hands on if I had to actually buy them!

One evening when I was at the library in Bedok, I was looking for a particular book about Natural History in the Youth section of the library when a young boy approached me. He looked about 14, and asked me for the time. Not realising that he actually had a handphone with him, I gave him the time, and continued browsing. He didn't leave, and stood there next to me, touching himself nervously. I don't mean "touching" himself like you know where, but his hands were nervously wiping his brow, neck, chest... Y'know...

So then he says to me, You boleh cakap Melayu? and I was like, Ya. Pleased, he continues, You dari Indonesia? and I say, No, Singapore. So he says, Saya juga orang Singapore. From the way his eyes dart about as he twitches nervously, I can tell he's a bit "off" up there lah. But get this. As I inch my way away from him, he approaches slowly and asks, "Can we be friends?"

It was SO WEIRD! Most people mistake me for a teacher 'cos apparently I look like one, what with my striking nerdus maximus looks n mak nenek character. I knew this boy was a bit mental, but I was so embarrassed I just replied, SAYA SUDAH KAHWIN LAH! SUDAH TUA! And then he was lagi embarrassed n backed off immediately, saying Sorry ya, Sorry ya as he disappeared behind the bookshelves, tail n goodness knows what between his legs.

Sometimes it's amusing when I get carded for certain reasons n it's a compliment that some people still think I look 17. But to be asked by a 14-year old boy if I wanted to be his friend? That's some scary shit man!

But if I was still 14... Is that how kids make friends these days? Is that how WE made friends back in those days? Well, my Mom used to think I went to the library as a teen to look at boys! I studied in an all-girls school by the way. But NO! I wasn't that despo. (And anyway, I had Sunday School to keep me entertained!) Some girls would wait all year for "inter-school" events just to check out the boys (or girls) from neighbouring schools. I remember if your classroom faced the school field, your teacher would have a rough time getting the girls to pay attention when there were 20 LaSalle prefects running around in their PE shorts.

Making friends, back then, and now, hasn't changed that much I guess. Back then, in primary school, we'd get friends to "sign" our autograph books. We'd write poems n phrases in these books, like "Trees are silver---Leaves are gold---Remember me---When you are old" or some corny shit like that. Now you've got these "autograph books" online, with friends leaving you messages n wishes in your Guestbook, or sending you virtual gifts n such.

Some of us wonder how real or genuine friendships are in the virtual world, like on Friendster, Facebook, Multiply, and other online "social networking" (i.o.w. dating) sites.

I lost touch with many of my friends from school, and have recently reunited with many of them online. But I got to asking, why we lost touch in the first place if we really were friends. Some of them are girls I've known since I was seven! Classmates from Standard 1 right up to Std 6, we practically grew up together, playing games like Ibu Ayam & Helang, and that darn rubberband skipping game that I never could master. We celebrated birthdays, report card days, Hari Sukan...

We went off to the same secondary school, but were divided into different classes, made new friends. These new friends soon went off to different classes too, as we were later divided into Arts and Science streams. So we made more new friends, somewhat leaving the old ones behind. I guess it was a quiet understanding, like, you go your way, I go my way... but yea, I'll remember you when I'm old.

And of course back then, we didn't have emails and online albums n kawan-ster stuff. If I was still in Malaysia, perhaps I may not have even bothered looking up old friends online. We take for granted what's right in front of us, and search for love, friendship and some form of gratification in a world made up of bits, bytes n pixels. Perhaps with careers, studies, spouses, kids, and what nots to juggle, there simply isn't enough time and space for every single friend you've made since kindergarten. Everything and everyone is just whizzing by at the speed of light. So we're only able to appreciate how "roses are red and violets are blue" when we're seated calmly in front of a computer.

I guess the hard truth is, things in the real world have become so superficial that virtual reality becomes What's Real to most of us. So whether it's online, at the library, on the MRT, at the mamak... I guess we can make friends anywhere. It's not really the "where", "when" or "how" that matters, but "Why".

Tour of Non-Duty

Planned to write something about my trip home after returning to Dubai but procrastinated till now. Well, better late than never. Before leaving for Singapore/PJ in June, I wrote a post about my "Dubai blues". Well, I made my month-long trip back, recovered, and am back in Dubai, good as new.

The first significant thing I did when back in Singapore was my trip out to the intertidal zone in Changi with Wildfilms, the second day I was home. Great way to start off my getaway. Don't get me wrong, I wasn't "getting away" from my husband. Just Dubai itself - its intolerable service standards, etc etc... the list just grows n grows.


Lots of new sights greeted me in Singapore, like the horrid "Wheel" that's almost done, the new Ikea, Giant and Courts in Tampines, Sheng Siong in Bedok, and VivoCity.


I spent about 10 days in PJ and 20 days in Singapore. My time in PJ was quality time with family and buddies. I think I've had enough Nescafe Ais to last me the rest of the year, as I was out at the mamak with Nat on most nights, sometimes joined by Sher Hui and Wye Li. Also managed to spend an afternoon in Bangsar with Jamie.

Sometimes I feel like a celebrity back home as my many "Ah Ee"s take turns to "chope" me for lunch appointments and such. It felt really nice, and of course, anything to do with makan is great!


Back in Singapore, I joined Wildfilms on a few more trips during low tide to the shore and a few islands. These were really splendid too - being close to nature again, and my conversations with like-minded individuals like Ria and Chay Hoon.

Earlier Wildfilms footage were shot on tape, so there are a few hundred tapes that need to be digitised, and a lepak "tai-tai" like me always comes in handy for nitty-gritty jobs like these. So I lugged back "Ziggy" (our pet name for one of the small handicams), 500gigs of hard disk, and four boxes of tapes to be converted into digital format. This should keep me happily busy till 2008 too!

I've discovered though, that there's a big difference between tai-tai and housewife. A tai-tai has a maid. I am a housewife.


Another eventful "must do" in Singapore was attending Jo and Leong's wedding dinner. I was pretty zonked out that day as I had spent the early morning out on Pulau Hantu, but the wedding dinner was a really refreshing change to the dreary grey of Dubai life.


Typical Chinese/Singaporean style - lots of red and cheery colours, as pictured here. When I'm really tired, my hands get really shaky, so I didn't take any pictures but have compiled a few here, taken by Mei Ling and the wedding photographer.


I was seated with Louis, Rabind and Wayne, and some intimidating-looking guys I've never met before. Felt pretty lost especially since I was half-awake and attending this as "Ben's wife". Introductions to people were like this, Hey, you know Ben? --- Fatty Ben? or Ben the Chef? --- Yea, this is his wife, Mrs Fatty Ben.


I must say, even though this was like, what... only the second time I've met Leong, and one might ask who I am to comment, I think he looked really, really happy. I hardly got to see or speak to Jo 'cos typical in all Chinese wedding dinners, the bride always kena change baju like a Hong Kong superstar at a concert. It was a beautiful wedding, and I'm sure, the happiest day of their lives.

One thing I sure didn't miss when back in Singapore... no, two things:
1. Being made to feel fat just cos I wasn't like all 'em skinny-ass skanks around.
2. Being told that I speak "very good English for a Malaysian".

I mean, what's up with people presuming that Malaysians can't speak English. If you sat in a foodcourt in Singapore, no, not even food court... If you were seated in a nice restaurant in Singapore, you'd notice that all the chatter around you is in Mandarin. Many Singaporeans think they speak "good" English just 'cos they begin each sentence with words like "Basically..." and try to sound eloquent by saying things like "forget a-bow-rit" and "am I right or am I right?"

First of all, there's no such thing as "good English". Learn to speak proper English, get your grammar, Ps n Qs right, before you go 'round questioning another's language proficiency based on nationality.

It's bloody annoying and such an insult when people ask, You're Malaysian? Are you sure? You speak such good English, I thought you're Singaporean. You studied in Singapore or overseas is it?

I'm Malaysian, I studied in Malaysia, I don't hold a degree, and I speak proper English. Lots of Malaysians do. Wake up....

Ok, back to happy stuff. What felt really good about my trip home was the amount of "me-time" I had. Ya, I know I don't work in Dubai so I have full access to "me-time" here too. But when I was in Singapore and PJ, I was a housewife on holiday!


No need to cook! No need to jaga the big baby! No need to worry about groceries. Hungry? Just walk out to the nearby kopitiam and be spoilt for choice. I didn't even have to make my own coffee. Just 80 cents gets me a nice cup of kopi pua sio. So shiok!


I met up with friends, mother-in-law, father-in-law. Mizan works at the i-Shop in Cineleisure, so he was one of the first few people I met and he even gave me a discount on the adapter for my Powerbook. I had a late lunch and coffee with Razmi just before he went off for National Service, and konlomee with Raena and Shorbs! Dinner with Ben's friends, as well as with my ex-colleagues from Crystal Wines.


I also met up with Peng a few times for kopi or makan. I told him I planned to ta-pau half a roast duck to bring back to Dubai for Ben, and he went ahead and bought it for me. Peng also introduced me to the latest drink fad, those awful cans of "Anything" or "Whatever"! And I finally met Brownie, his chow chow puppy!


All in all, it was a marvelous trip, and it was even nicer knowing that the end of the trip would signal my return home to Ben, so leaving didn't feel so bad. The housewife, refreshed and rejuvenated, is back on duty.