Life Lessons from Spidey

Spider-Man 2 is my favourite of the three Spidey movies, and I managed to catch it for the umpteenth time on TV today. My favourite part of the movie would be the almost silent post-climax moment when train passengers lift and carry Spidey to safety after he passes out. I found it humbling - that superheroes are still, just people; that even heroes bleed, and angels fall.

I wonder if people really take note of the subtle acts of kindness or strategically 'placed' lines of inspiration in movies. You know, those moments that some of us find corny or cliche. Sometimes, corny & cliche is a must if we really want to get the message across. Movies are meant to entertain - some boys want lots of action [*wink*], some girls want romance, and crazy-about-movies-people like me just want a wicked dose of everything, from power effects to cinematography, great storyline to good acting, and then some (like the perfect seat and excellent sound system in a cinema, and of course, the best popcorn!).

So why is corny or cliche good? Well, we always remember corny moments! Like the silliest things we did in school, or the cheesiest pick-up lines you've heard. And cliche just means it's no longer original, or it's been said and done too many times. Now, there's a reason why some things are repeatedly said and done - your Mom nagging you about eating right or your doctor telling you to quit smoking. There's a message, a lesson to learn, and it's usually a darn good one.

Like Uncle Ben's "with great power comes great responsibility", or Spider-Man telling a vengeful Harry Osborn, "There are bigger things happening here than me and you". Finally, Aunt May says it best:

"I believe there's a hero in all of us, that keeps us honest, gives us strength, makes us noble. And finally gets us to die with pride. Even though sometimes we have to be steady and give up the thing we want most, even our dreams."

So remember, sometimes even the smallest act of kindness makes the biggest difference in someone's day or someone's life. Brighten a day or a life with a smile. And for the more heroic few, I say, Go get 'em, tiger!

Mush room for improvement

So now, I'm out of a job again!

Ada...takde...ada...takde...

Mike's company did not get back to me by Friday evening, and I had to call Future Company before 5.30pm on Friday if I wanted to 'quit'. How do you 'quit' a job that you haven't even started? Maybe some call it chicken-ing out.

Future Company actually called me back on Thursday evening to say I could start this Monday after all, cos they managed to 'acquire' a work station for me.

But Ben advised me to just risk it and 'quit', even before getting a written offer and confirmation from Mike's company. I suppose just the whole issue about getting me a computer or not---not getting the software I require---pushing my start date back and forth---didn't seem professional. And if decision-making was already so kelam-kabut from an outsider's point of view now, imagine how much more teruk it might be once on the inside. The Dark Side beckons not.

As usual, scaredy me waited... till the time was right? Till I plucked up enough courage? Till I had enough caffeine in my bloodstream to carry out a conversation that might very likely explode into a bitter dispute.

I digress... and meet Shorbs in town for coffee. I ask her if she thinks I've changed a lot since getting married, or from the time she knew me back when we worked at The Club. A friend recently said that she feels I'm not the same bubbly person she knew before I was married. But I think, if I have changed, "bubbly" wouldn't be on the change list. I was thinking more of the confident, loud, outgoing, bold bits, which are no longer adjectives used to describe me.

Back in the day...... yup...

I used to be the daring and garang one in art school. Always on top of her game, always beating the boys, and always, always able to talk her way out of or into anything!

Now I'm the opposite.

It's not even marriage that has changed me. Shorbs says we're just more mellow as we get older. That may be true. But for me, I think it started right after art school. I told my parents I didn't wanna continue my studies overseas to get a degree. I didn't tell them that it was because I didn't want them to 'waste' money on me, but to save it for when my younger brother needed the money when it was time for him to pursue a degree or whatever.

And so it's been like that for me ever since. Always taking a back seat. I really don't know why! It started with letting others have the better opportunity or the bigger piece of the pie or even the final word. Then, to try to be the 'perfect' or obedient girlfriend or employee, I'd shut up when 'required', let The Man be Da Man, play dumb, play neutral, play stupid, so that The Man or The Boss could feel like he/she was Da Man or Da Boss. And eventually, it just made me weak, to a point where others could easily push me around.

So now I'm just mush. Mush around 'big' people. Mush around oppressive people. Even mush to the point of crying when faced with confrontational situations. I've gone soft! I guess those who see me as being weak might be the same people who'll use this 'weakness' to their advantage. But I still believe there's some good left in the world, and hopefully the nicer people out there don't see me so much as a weakling, but someone who's just gentle and kind.

I wonder if I'll ever find balance - to be gentle yet strong, kind yet stern, selfless yet able to stand up for myself. Because I know I'm not right now. And this is why I delay calling Future Company. Cos I hate being the 'nasty one' or the 'wrong one', and by always trying so hard to be the 'nice one', I let others walk over me or 'scare' me into doing something I'm not comfortable with. I'm the grin, bear it, later go home and cry type.

So finally, I call Future Company (FC).

B: Hi... blah blah niceties... blah blah I've been given another offer that I feel is more suitable for me right now, so I won't be joining Future Company on Monday after all.

FC: What! No but you signed the letter already.

B: I know, I'm really sorry to let you know only now -

FC: No there's a clause in the letter. I think. There's a clause - a penalty you have to pay or something. Let me check, I think there's something in the contract. I'll check and get back to you.

B: Ya of course. If there's a penalty or if I'm required to come in for a week, just let me know.
[I'm unusually cool about this only because I scanned through the contract thoroughly the night before, because I know of such a clause. Some companies require you to pay them a week's salary if you do not show up on the first day of work without a valid reason. But it wasn't in the Letter of Appointment that I signed with Future Company, so I can be cool.]

FC: But what - why - What position is this? Is it because of better pay? Why - uhm -

B: Well it's a Marcomm position that I feel is more suitable for me right now -

FC: No, let me just check the contract. I'll get back to you later.

Whoa. My hands are trembling after I hang up the phone. This is how weak I am lah. I get all gabra-zebra when dealing with angry situations or speaking to people of so-called authority or just those type of people who naturally command respect or fear. Fear is the path to The Dark Side. Fear leads to anger. Anger leads to hate. Hate leads to suff-fuh-riiiiiing....

Future Company calls me back a couple of hours later. FC is very curt throughout the conversation. Perhaps exasperated too, and I feel bad, and I hate to feel bad and rotten. But luckily Shorbs is there to remind me that I shouldn't. Cos this is the HR person whom I'm speaking to, and even if HR is gonna kena from Management because of my LMC, it's nothing personal. So I shouldn't get personal, and I shouldn't feel bad.

FC: [curt and upset] Ok, I checked. There used to be a clause about a penalty in the contract about this, but I don't know why we took it out. So you're not bound - But I just want to know why! Is it because of higher pay? I mean - You said it's a Marcomm position? Why didn't you say anything about this to us during the interview, that you want to do Marcomm.

B: [gabra-zebra-tremble-tremble] I did actually. During the interview you asked me, and also on the application form, you asked where I see myself or how I'd like to see myself grow within the company. And I said, I'd like to do designing but have always been leaning towards Marcomm, and I want to grow into a supervisory Marcomm position. I said it and it's also on the form I filled up.

FC: [very curt and upset] Ok fine. So this other offer, this position is what you want? Is it because of higher pay?

B: Overall yes. I get to design, but at the same time, I get to gain more experience in Marketing. I actually interviewed with them two months ago. But they decided not to expand at that time. So I thought it was 'case closed'. And I really was very interested and excited about joining Future Company. But then they, have decided to expand their company right now. And yes, the overall package they're offering is more suitable for me right now, and more suitable in terms of future growth.

FC: How much more?

B: Uhm... I'd say, 20% more.

FC: But I already got you your workstation you know!

B: Yes I know! I'm really sorry. I know you took the trouble and did all the paperwork and got the hardware all ready and everything, and I'm sorry.
[tremble-tremble... Lucky Shorbs is sitting in front of me right now or I might actually start to cry]

FC: [still upset but trying to be the bigger person here] Well, if this is what you want I can only wish you good luck. Thank you.
[Thank you?]

B: Yes, thank you.

Hands and even elbows looking like they belong to a poor soul with Parkinsons. I think I even have a face twitch right now. But phew! I'm out of a job, but I feel so relieved!

Later that night, Mike's Boss calls me about their job offer, discusses the job scope and what they "envision" for me.

So I have a job again. One that's much more challenging, but that I'm genuinely excited to start. One that I'm absolutely lacking in experience in, but they're willing to guide because I'm willing to learn. One that doesn't state in black & white that I have to work a MINIMUM of 10 hours a day, even though it's expected that there will be late nights, multiple projects and datelines all happening at the same time, and plenty targets to meet. But I'm excited. And "excited" is good.

The Force is Strong with The Portuguese

In the beginning, there was Adam.

I've been back in Singapore for about two months now, but only started actively searching and applying for jobs after Ben returned to Dubai last month. While he was here in March, his friend (let's call him Mike for semi-confidential purposes) mentioned that his company was hiring, and he set up an appointment for me to meet his Boss. So we met, but they were looking for the more 'hardcore sales' type, which she and I both agreed wasn't me at all. She did however allow me to submit a marketing proposal for a mock project, to see if they might be able to find a fit for me within their Marketing department.

So for the next three nights, I pored over marketing-related books borrowed from the library and photocopied articles about market trends and other scary sounding terms that I've always overheard while passing the business-yuppie types congregating around a copy of the day's Financial Times or Asian Wall Street Journal. Terms like ROIs, KPIs, SWOT analyses, commodities, gains and such, that send shivers down any Arts-type person's spine. I surfed the Net like I've never surfed before, getting only a total of 4 hours of sleep in that stretch of 2 days and 3 nights.

By the 3rd night, I had only a sad excuse for a proposal, but reached a point where my brain could no longer function. No budget, no timeline... but close to 20 pages of research. I was embarrassed and really felt that my best effort came up short, looking like a silly high school project. But since Mike took the trouble to get me the interview, and since his Boss was kind enough to spend an hour chatting with me, I submitted my marketing 'research' minus proper proposal, and left it as that. I didn't even dare write Hope to hear from you soon cos it would seem too thick-skinned lah.

However, two weeks later, one of the managers there called me in for a "casual chat". She said the Boss wanted her to get to know me better, and if they could fit me into her department, or tailor a position according to my abilities and what I would be "willing" to do. So again, chat chat chat. They weren't actually looking to hire in their department, but apparently my juvenile efforts were recognised and highly appreciated, and these non-design agency sorts aren't so used to us creative creatures of the night, so receiving an email from me at 4.45am kinda made a big impression.

They didn't mind that I had no experience or skills in Marketing cos all this could be picked up along the way, and all that mattered was having the right attitude. I thought this was kinda cool? Cos it means an employer wants me for just me? Anyway, they didn't really have a position for me. So that was that.

The End...... ?

So Ben went back to Dubai, I applied for a few more jobs, ranging from Marketing to Graphic Designing to Teaching. I got a Graphic Design job within 2 weeks, and am due to commence work with my Future Company this Monday.

When I first told Ben about this company, he immediately advised me not to take the job, because of the work-you-till-you-pengsan-and-vomit-blood stereotype associated with these type of family-run *particular-race* companies. But I seemed to get a good vibe from this place, and the two interviews I attended here went well. They seemed genuinely impressed with my portfolio and work experience, which related very well to the various projects that the company is managing.

Some friends gushed about the low pay and long working hours - 9-to-7! Yes, SEVEN! Others gushed about how lucky I was to get a job so soon when times are supposed to be "so bad" right now. And all gushed and huffed and puffed at how I didn't put up a fight for a better package.

Even my Mom advised me not to sign anything with them last Monday as planned, cos my Tua Ee happened to be flipping through The Almanac and noticed that Monday was a "VERY BAD DAY" for me and a very bad day in general for people to sign important contracts, etc. But I told her that I couldn't just postpone my appointment at the last minute, and that if this was a lousy company, it wouldn't make a difference if I signed on a 'good' or 'bad' day, cos they'd still be lousy anyhow. So my Mom resorted to lighting some super-power holy candles during her daily prayers and intercessions.

I didn't mind the salary that they offered actually. It's actually 'up-to-standard' for such a position, but low for my 10 years of experience lah. I was only concerned about the benefits, or lack of it actually, and I'd have to travel quite a bit to get to the office. But there are 15,000 jobless souls in Singapore, so I musn't be choosy lah right.

So, I accepted their offer, and signed my letter of appointment on "Bad Monday". And sure enough, right after I signed, I got a Han-Solo-Luke-Leia-kinda "I gotta BAAAAD feeling about this" afterthought. Looks like The Force isn't too strong with me these days - getting wrong vibes or unable to sense The Dark Side in stealth mode.

During the interview, the managers said they'd be getting me a work station and asked what my basic requirements were for graphic software. Simple: Photoshop. Illustrator. InDesign. Dreamweaver. Now that I've signed at least 10 hours a day to The Dark Side, they say Photoshop is no problem, we're looking into the other two, and getting Dreamweaver is not possible right now. Part of the Letter of Appointment also states that I would have to work additional retail or restaurant/bar hours as and when necessary.

So I went home that day feeling that I'd just been 'screwed over in advance'. Like I just signed a Permission-To-Kena-Screwed slip. I told Ben that this was the first time I started looking for other jobs right after signing a contract and even before commencing work! But I think Ben got a bit impatient with me.

I think he thinks I'm only having second thoughts cos I'm lazy and too used to being a bum and housewife, and that I really need this job to kick-start my 'work mode' again. So the whole week, I've just been trying REAL hard to psyche myself with positive thoughts about this company and this new job, even though I feel so rotten inside. It's money in the Bank, Berns. It's money in CPF, Berns. You've been a bum for way too long, Berns. Ben thinks you're spoilt n lazy, Berns. You might actually really love this, Berns. The office is not THAT far, Berns. Use The Force, Berns... You can do it!

So on Thursday, I try a 'practice run' to my Future Workplace. Woke up at 6.45am, caught the 7.40am express bus to town, transferred to another bus that brought me to the building next to Future Workplace by 8.40am. And it was set. This would be my Future Morning Route to work.

I continue my journey to Tiong Bahru, as I have plans to meet my Mum-in-law here for breakfast since she lives nearby. As I cross the road from the bus stop, I see what appears to be a vision of someone familiar coming down the steps of Tiong Bahru Plaza. His Jesus-hair billowing in the morning breeze as rays of the sun reflect off the plastic bag of bungkus-ed breakfast in hand. No! It can't be! No way!

It is Adam. Not first man Adam, but Adam I know from Church in PJ. There's always this awkwardness between us cos there may have been 'something' there before... but like way, way back lah. Back when he looked tamer, without a mane of curly, shoulder-length locks. Back when I actually thought Lars Ulrich was kinda attractive and Body Glove t-shirts were the thing. Now this fella is always popping up all over the place. Whenever I make a trip back to PJ, sometimes just once or twice a year for a few days, I always seem to bump into him lah. Strawberi cafe ada. Bangsar ada. Raju's ada. Now Tiong Bahru also ada!

He's just as surprised to see me. I knew he moved to Singapore just a few weeks back cos Nat told me last week. But there are so many PJ people from school or church who have been here in Singapore but I've never bumped into them all these years.

So we make the usual awkward small talk, exchange numbers, and we part with me feeling that this was such a WEIRD coincidence. I also envy how he gets to wear a t-shirt, jeans and sneakers to work, but maybe once you're a hotshot (or 'kickass' as Jamie puts it) copywriter or Creative Director you can wear anything you want lah, even wear your hair like Shakira.

So I meet Mum-in-law for breakfast. I tell her I'm starting work in 3 days' time and we chat about other stuff. Now, when I thought my encounter with Adam was weird, little did I know that it was just the start of what would be the weirdest day ever.

The following takes place between 10.30am and 11.00am on the Weirdest Day Ever. Events occur in real time...toot...tit...toot...tit......

10.30am: My handphone rings but I'm too slow and miss the call. The number seems familiar, and I check if it's Future Company, but it isn't. Then I realise it's a line from Mike's office. So I call him.

B: Hey 'Mike', did u just call me from your office?

M: Uhh no...

B: I just got a missed called from your office. Do u know anything about it?

M: Uhh no... Just call them back lah. Did u take the job at that *particular-race* company?

B: Ya, I signed already! I start on Monday.

M: What?!!

B: Nevermind, I can just give 7 days' notice...

10.34am: I call the number but there's no answer so I leave a message. I tell Mum-in-law that if Mike's Boss offers me a job, I'm in a dilemma cos I wouldn't know how to turn down Future Company. I don't wanna be the type who just doesn't show up on the first day of work. At the same time, I'm the sort of person who doesn't know how to negotiate for a better offer, yet alone reject people, so I have no idea how I'm gonna grow skin thick enough to call Future Company and say "Podah-lah. Wa mai zho liao!" [Tamil translation: Get lost lah. Hokkien translation: I don't wanna do already.]

Just then, my phone rings again!

10.38am: It's not a number from Mike's workplace, but again, the number looks familiar. It's HR from Future Company!

HR: (Wants to know if my graphic software is on a laptop, that I could use in the office for work, cos they don't have a workstation and computer for me. Apparently, they're waiting for some fella to podah in 5-6 weeks' time, and then I can use his station that only has Photoshop...Ooooh)

B: No, all my graphic software is on my desktop.

HR: (Asks if they could push my start date back 4 or 5 weeks since I'll have nothing to work on if I start on Monday)

B: Ya sure, that's fine. Just let me know by tomorrow, once you have a new start date confirmed.

I turn to my Mum-in-law in disbelief to tell her who just called and what it's about. Then my phone rings again.

10.45am: It's Mike.

M: [whispers] So how?

B: I called but there's no answer so I left a message. The *particular-race* company JUST called me. They said they wanna push my start date back about 4 weeks!

M: Whaa... I told u... These *particular-race* companies ah... Anyhow ask u to start then ask u to wait 4 weeks!

B: Anyway, whose extension ends with --?

M: (Checks and confirms it's "X" from HR) [whispers] She's at the board now... Oh! She's walking back to her desk! Call again, call her now!

10.50am: I call "X". She offers me a position with their company. I accept. She says she'll let the Boss know, and the Boss will call me to officially offer me the job.

11.00am: So now I have a job that is halfway out the door even before I'm due to start, and at the same time, one foot in another. Exodus before The Beginning? Or literally, I'm in between jobs.

I'm still wondering if perhaps waking up at 6.45 that morning left me in a part-zombie state, and I sleepwalked-sleep-took the bus to town and it was all a dream... Encounters with a Miranda, a Nonis and a Galistan... Fishy Portuguese connection, really extreme coincidence, or divine intervention?

...Hmmm... curious...... most curious.