Talking about “many fish in the sea”, I remember that this was exactly what my Mom told me when I had my first ever “break-up”. She exclaimed as I sobbed through all the tears and snot, “There are so many fish in the sea! Why cry over this fella. And he’s so short! It’s not the end of the world! You can find a tall and handsome guy.” Hmpf… tall and handsome? That’s a whole other long story.
So this whole drama came about when I was 16. First boyfriend. First so-called (blinding) love. Of course, I kept this relationship a secret from my parents cos at 16 a girl is supposed to be studying hard for her O-Levels, not worrying about whether he loves me or loves me not.
It started out like all grossly-sweet puppy love romances lah. All the corny love letters and shit. But he really was quite a useless fella, then (I’m sure, or I hope he’s ok now). I even did all his homework for him, even Geography, which was a subject I wasn’t even taking that year. I’d scrape whatever savings I had to buy him stuff he liked, and he’d say things like, “Yang, next time you buy me a shirt, make sure the sleeves are longer.” Next time? Hah!
By the way, ‘Yang (short for Sayang) is the endearing term used to call each other in Malaysia, even if you’re not Malay. And in those days, fashion was ‘gangsta-rap’-inspired, so it was all about stuff like big n baggy t-shirts with huge pictures of dead rappers or Malcolm-X printed in the front, big n baggy berms, and chunky Caterpillar or Timberland boots.
After a few months, we saw less and less of each other, and I finally realized it was all crap when I ran away from home. I’m not proud to say it cos it was a horrible and harrowing experience for my parents. It all started because of a big misunderstanding with my Mom and I won’t go into details even though I still remember everything vividly.
I remember packing as much as I could into a gym bag, and even asked my grandfather for my bank savings passbook. Then I told my older brother that I was running away, and he cool-ly replied, “Orh” and went back to daydreaming. My younger brother however has always been like the protective bodyguard stand-up-for-what-is-right type. And so he stood in front of the door to stop me from going, and I said something really nasty to him and left through the back door.
I went to The Park – the small playground behind Nat’s house. After a while, I realized that Nat would be the first person my parents would hunt down once they discovered I was gone. So I took a cab (!!) to somewhere near my boyfriend’s house, bought a Fillet-o-Fish from a nearby Macs, and sat at another playground as night fell.
After a while, I noticed a cockroach scurrying towards the bench I was sitting on. Crap! And then, another ka-chuak. Crap crap!! And then another, and soon there were like half a dozen cockroaches approaching, probably sensing that there might be some leftover scraps of fish burger on me. Freaking big grandfather cockroaches that have the ability to fly and land on your neck, crawl into your clothes or get stuck in your hair! Aarrrrgh!!!
So I left, and called the useless boyfriend from a nearby payphone. I told him the whole story, and that I was at a public phone nearby. Instead of comforting me or coming out to meet me, he said, “Just go to Janet’s house. She’ll let you stay there”.
So I called Janet, a schoolmate of mine, went to her house and stayed the night. The next evening, I called home and spoke to my older brother, who tried his best to tell me in secret code that it was safe to come home (cos obviously my parents were right next to him, expecting and praying that I’d call). So he picked me up from Janet’s place, and after that it was just a big emotional drama at home. But it was from this experience that I was able to open up and talk to my Mom about the break-up later.
Anyway, I soon heard from our mutual friends that the useless boyfriend was doing the nasty-nasty with some girl from one of ‘em Ah-Lian schools. He denied it of course, and we broke up over the phone. And then stupidity, as it often does, got the better of me, and I thought, Maybe I was wrong to believe our friends and not him, the so-called love of my life?
So I went to his house to grovel n beg, and he shooed me away saying I betrayed him for not believing him, yada yada yada. I remember I just sat there bawling like an idiot outside his house, and his sister came out to “pau-toh” him, telling me that the Ah Lian skank was in their house at that moment, and that she had stayed the night!
Even though I did feel like it was the end of the world for a while, at least I had our mutual friends, and even his sister on my side. I remember I got his sis to take back the bloody expensive pair of ‘Cats’ I bought for him, and I sold it off to one of his friends! Muahaha!!
So even if there are many fish in the sea, it takes quite a while, and sometimes quite a lot of heartbreak to learn that it’s not the quantity that counts but the quality. So remember, never fill an empty space with just any ol’ fish. And never run away from the ones who love you most.
So this whole drama came about when I was 16. First boyfriend. First so-called (blinding) love. Of course, I kept this relationship a secret from my parents cos at 16 a girl is supposed to be studying hard for her O-Levels, not worrying about whether he loves me or loves me not.
It started out like all grossly-sweet puppy love romances lah. All the corny love letters and shit. But he really was quite a useless fella, then (I’m sure, or I hope he’s ok now). I even did all his homework for him, even Geography, which was a subject I wasn’t even taking that year. I’d scrape whatever savings I had to buy him stuff he liked, and he’d say things like, “Yang, next time you buy me a shirt, make sure the sleeves are longer.” Next time? Hah!
By the way, ‘Yang (short for Sayang) is the endearing term used to call each other in Malaysia, even if you’re not Malay. And in those days, fashion was ‘gangsta-rap’-inspired, so it was all about stuff like big n baggy t-shirts with huge pictures of dead rappers or Malcolm-X printed in the front, big n baggy berms, and chunky Caterpillar or Timberland boots.
After a few months, we saw less and less of each other, and I finally realized it was all crap when I ran away from home. I’m not proud to say it cos it was a horrible and harrowing experience for my parents. It all started because of a big misunderstanding with my Mom and I won’t go into details even though I still remember everything vividly.
I remember packing as much as I could into a gym bag, and even asked my grandfather for my bank savings passbook. Then I told my older brother that I was running away, and he cool-ly replied, “Orh” and went back to daydreaming. My younger brother however has always been like the protective bodyguard stand-up-for-what-is-right type. And so he stood in front of the door to stop me from going, and I said something really nasty to him and left through the back door.
I went to The Park – the small playground behind Nat’s house. After a while, I realized that Nat would be the first person my parents would hunt down once they discovered I was gone. So I took a cab (!!) to somewhere near my boyfriend’s house, bought a Fillet-o-Fish from a nearby Macs, and sat at another playground as night fell.
After a while, I noticed a cockroach scurrying towards the bench I was sitting on. Crap! And then, another ka-chuak. Crap crap!! And then another, and soon there were like half a dozen cockroaches approaching, probably sensing that there might be some leftover scraps of fish burger on me. Freaking big grandfather cockroaches that have the ability to fly and land on your neck, crawl into your clothes or get stuck in your hair! Aarrrrgh!!!
So I left, and called the useless boyfriend from a nearby payphone. I told him the whole story, and that I was at a public phone nearby. Instead of comforting me or coming out to meet me, he said, “Just go to Janet’s house. She’ll let you stay there”.
So I called Janet, a schoolmate of mine, went to her house and stayed the night. The next evening, I called home and spoke to my older brother, who tried his best to tell me in secret code that it was safe to come home (cos obviously my parents were right next to him, expecting and praying that I’d call). So he picked me up from Janet’s place, and after that it was just a big emotional drama at home. But it was from this experience that I was able to open up and talk to my Mom about the break-up later.
Anyway, I soon heard from our mutual friends that the useless boyfriend was doing the nasty-nasty with some girl from one of ‘em Ah-Lian schools. He denied it of course, and we broke up over the phone. And then stupidity, as it often does, got the better of me, and I thought, Maybe I was wrong to believe our friends and not him, the so-called love of my life?
So I went to his house to grovel n beg, and he shooed me away saying I betrayed him for not believing him, yada yada yada. I remember I just sat there bawling like an idiot outside his house, and his sister came out to “pau-toh” him, telling me that the Ah Lian skank was in their house at that moment, and that she had stayed the night!
Even though I did feel like it was the end of the world for a while, at least I had our mutual friends, and even his sister on my side. I remember I got his sis to take back the bloody expensive pair of ‘Cats’ I bought for him, and I sold it off to one of his friends! Muahaha!!
So even if there are many fish in the sea, it takes quite a while, and sometimes quite a lot of heartbreak to learn that it’s not the quantity that counts but the quality. So remember, never fill an empty space with just any ol’ fish. And never run away from the ones who love you most.
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