Like A Fine Wine

My husband Ben loves durian. The last time we were back in Singapore, we ate durian till we felt like puking. I hesitate at first, then, I finally break the news to him.

YOUR UNCLE HAS A DURIAN ESTATE?!! OH, MAN! When can we go? When can we go?

On my recent trip back to PJ, my family made a trip to Port Dickson (PD), Seremban for a "family durian fest". My Mom's sister Gina (I call her "Dee Ee", meaning 2nd Aunt), is married to Uncle Johnny who owns a durian estate in PD. So one Saturday morning, my mom, brothers, sister-in-law, aunts, uncles, cousins and I squeeze into 3 cars, making the 1.5 hour trip to durian paradise.


Before heading to the estate, we visit Dee Ee's home in Pasir Panjang, a quaint little one-street town. There, we have chicken rice at a nearby coffee shop. Uncle Johnny takes care of everything, from Uncle KB's requests for 3 whole chickens for lunch, plus tau yu bak (braised pig's trotter) and two tables specially "reserved" in this small town kopitiam, just for us urbanites.

It's been a long time since I've had REAL homemade barley, like the type I used to get in Malacca. It reminds me of the old Ujong Pasir house where I spent most of my Chinese New Years and birthdays as a kid, cycling around the Portugese settlement, and the cold, refreshing homemade barley from our favourite kon lo mee shop. Of course, those came in plastic cups unlike this whopper here.

Barley, ungge lekke nalade

After lunch, the REAL feast begins!


I'm still trying to get used to the heat and humidity, so durian on a full stomach at high noon is a bit too much for me. Instead, I allow my mind to wander off as everyone eats to their hearts' fill (it's gotta be the heart 'cos how in the world could one's stomach take in anymore after THREE kampung chickens and tau yu bak).


My family makes sure they keep my cousin Paul busy, as he pries open durian after durian. Seriously, I lose count of how many durians he opens. Growing up half his life on the estate, Paul is a pro! Swift and unwavering, and I'm not just referring to the thirteen hungry hands reaching out for fruit.

Now to savour durian perfectly ripe and fresh from the estate takes some skill too. As one hand reaches out for the fruit, you've gotta keep your eyes set on the prize, choosing the juiciest and most golden yellow piece. The other hand has to remain in constant motion, chasing away flies that are trying hard to get a piece of the pie.


Then you've gotta keep a mental picture of where the bin is to throw the seed, keeping your eyes glued to the open fruit, while pretending to chase off a fly hovering over the fruit when in fact you're already "chope"-ing your next piece.

In between all this, sometimes you may find a few free seconds to lick your fingers and wipe the sweat off your brow, while engaging in conversation with others around you --- "Wah, shiok ah" --- "Ayo, so many flies!" --- "Ay Paul! This one man-in-the-net or the other one?"

Man in the net? That's your crème de la crème of the estate. The fruit that is so good that nets are placed all around the base of a particular tree, about 3 feet off the ground, to catch a falling fruit, leaving it... flawless.


Like a fine wine, Uncle Johnny describes the durian varieties and the perfect fruit - its strong bouquet, elegant mouthfeel, lingering aftertaste... And the estate, like any good vineyard, with its terroirs and susceptibility to bad weather or just plain bad luck. Like en primeur wines, some trees are even "booked" by durian purveyors or gourmands based on "vintage" predictions.

Besides helping out around the estate, Paul has occupied himself with harvesting "escargot". He leads us to the cement tanks that used to house "tin kai" - frogs bred for human consumption, like for frog leg porridge. But the frogs are gone, and in its place, hundreds of snails!


He points out the different tanks used for different stages in the snails' growth - those for juvenile snails, those just for breeding, and snails that are almost ready for the pot! Paul sells these escargot to vendors at the market or food vendors who use seafood for zhe cha (stir fry) dishes such as lala (mussels), siham (cockles), sotong kangkung (cuttlefish with morning glory) and ikan bakar (barbecued stingray).

Escargot eggs

Afterwards, we are given a walk-a-round to check out the "special" tv satellite dishes installed. One's "only" 3metres in diameter, and the 5metre one receives channels from Thailand, Taiwan and China!

Now if my Uncle KB can request for 3 whole chickens just for lunch, you can be assured that we didn't leave the estate empty handed either...


Chicken rice, tau yu bak, durians-to-go... Looks like Ben married into the right family : )

Frogs, Phlegm n Dimsum

We're having dimsum for breakfast after a trip to Frog Island. November has a bad cough. Bernie too. Walter says, "You're partners in phlegm".

"That's Andy's favourite", Ria comments as November takes the last piece of siewmai.

"It's alright. Phlegm sounds good actually", Andy retorts.

--- But scum is cooler --- How about bumble bee? --- Nah, too cutesy --- Killer bee? --- Death by bee --- Death by anemone, that's how I'd like to go --- Death by tripod while drowning --- How about The Cockroach Fund? --- Scum is good --- I think we've ordered too much --- It's gotta be repulsive, like fart --- Anymore, aunty? --- Try this crispy one, it's really good --- Too oily --- Like a wart or pimple? --- No, Pus! --- Mmm... this tastes REALLY good.

Frogs, phlegm and dimsum? Sounds like a rather gross combination, but this is what you'll get at a typical gathering of Wildfilms crew and other volunteers from Beachfleas, The Naked Hermit Crabs, ReefWalk and others. This blog is for the benefit of new friends, and really old friends whom I've only recently been reunited with through Multiply or Facebook and the likes. It provides a little intro and glimpse into a part of my life that some of you aren't aware of. Like why I'm always talking about wild things, seaweed and slugs.


A few years ago, I was your regular (almost) Singaporean 20-something. Lost in the rat-race, I never really toyed with the idea of climbing the corporate ladder and would have gladly accepted an offer to just work without bothering about politics and kissing ass. So the best way to stay out of the high-flyer radar was to be the regular (almost) Singaporean 20-something Zombie.

Drag myself out of bed each day, hail a cab to work on most days since dragging myself out of bed usually took too long. Get in to work about 15 minutes late, sit in front of the computer counting down the minutes till it was time to go home. So between 9.15am - 6.15pm, other than actual work and too many trips to the pantry for coffee, I'd wonder what I'd do when I got home that night... Hmm, CSI? Smallville? And what my weekend plans would be... Hmm, any new movies? No money? Ok maybe just sleep through the weekend.

I also found lots of time to surf the Net while at work. Looking for new ideas to pass the time, new hobbies. I thought, damn, there's nothing to do in Singapore except shopping and watching movies, or study part-time for a diploma or degree or whatever was needed in this dog-eat-dog world to get you a "better" job, a "better" life. I tried the latter. It almost killed me. So one day, I think I Googled something like "singapore things to do nature" and somehow, I eventually found myself glued to a website that I visit on a regular basis now - Wild Singapore.

And so begins the start of my (mis)adventures with "wild things" in Singapore - wild people, wild places, wild life... Not a "better" life. But a life fulfilled.


So who or what is Wildfilms?
"...a small group of volunteers who were moved by the beauty of Singapore's shores. We decided to document these on film as time is rapidly running out for many of our shores. In early 2004, a few of us decided to scrape together our meagre funds to buy professional quality broadcast equipment and try to come up with a 12-part documentary on our shores." "We hope to capture not only the fascinating and unique aspects of our shores, but also the special group of people who work for our shores. These include volunteers who raise awareness of our shores, professionals who strive to gain a better understanding of our shores and ordinary people who simply do what they can."

Why Wild?
"Because you have to be crazy and wild about our shores to commit to the project. Super low tides usually happen before sunrise... This means we start our day at 2am and finish at sunrise. Most of the volunteers on the team have full-time day-time jobs and other commitments. This means exhausting schedules every two weeks. But so far, it has been a wild ride and we are having a great time!"

Many of us go through life feeling that we're missing something. Some think, life would be better if I had a girlfriend/boyfriend, if I was married, if I was thinner, if I had a better job, if I was richer, if I'd just lose 10 pounds I'd be perfect. We try to fill this cavity with a person, then expect this person to fulfill this requirement. So you get two less lonely people in the world, unsatisfied. We try to fit something else in - stuff. Buy new toys, new shoes, new hobbies. But all these little pieces just don't fit. Broke and in debt, with a few failed relationships to boot, I finally realised I was looking for all the wrong things, in all the wrong places.

Your 20-something years is a period of self-discovery. You're stuck between trying to be an adult, actually being an adult, and still being treated like a kid. Perhaps in your 20-somethings, you should be working on getting a good job, steady relationship, money in the bank. But this is not Whole. Some turn to God, or a higher being. Faith and religion is all good. But then it actually also teaches us that money is the root of all evil, it does not condone greed and lust and envy. So how do you balance faith, religion, the pursuit of "happiness" while keeping your feet firmly on the ground?

If you watched the Matrix, you may recall how all things go back to The Source. What is The Source? Nirvana? God? Well, perhaps. But the "ashes to ashes, dust to dust, everything that has a beginning, has an end" part deals with a different journey in our lives. In between, I believe the Source (other than faith in God or a higher entity) is Nature.

In Nature, you find balance. Ecosystems are a fine example of that. X hosts Y, Z eats Y, Z dies and goes back to the Source, giving new life to X, or something like that. The circle of life in Nature includes us. But like X, Y and Z, we add weight to the circle. It's up to us if we want to bring balance to Nature, or eat Z to extinction, build a casino over X, and later realise that Y is a deadly disease, Z is the cure, and X is now a tourist resort.

To say we don't know what we've got till it's gone is too obvious. We don't know what we're missing till we've found it. So instead of ignoring all the signs, and searching in all the wrong places, we should "discover nature". Pick it up, not as a hobby, but a responsibility. We feel we are superior beings, a highly developed race. We're not animals, or creatures without the power to think, feel, act. We are THE force in nature. Like Anakin, destined to bring balance to The Force, do we turn to the Dark Side, screw things up, leaving future generations to clean up our mess and suffer the consequences?


If only all we took from nature was inspiration. Vivaldi composing The Four Seasons. Matisse's paper cut-outs of Polynesie la Mer. Bridges shaped like DNA structures. But we get carried away, and forget Nature's most important element - balance.

How much is too much? If I just lost 10 pounds I'd be perfect? No, if you're lucky, you'd be dead. But it's more likely you'd suffer from gastric ulcers and low blood pressure. How much is too much? Just one more major project, just two more extra hours at work, just three more birthdays I've missed......

Balance, my friends. You can have your almost perfect job, and almost perfect home, or not so perfect life. You can be the regular (almost) Singaporean/Malaysian/or whatever 20-, 30-, 40-something. You can choose to make God a big part of your life, or spend more or less time at work, more or less time with family and friends. Whatever gets you going man. As long as you bring balance to your life.

The point is not to live a perfect life, but a life fulfilled. So if you reach a stalemate and have no idea what's the next move, turn to The Source. Be inspired not by material things or societal needs, but the most inspirational of all. Be it a smelly green bug or even the rain beating against your window.


I found my balance in Nature, but it doesn't mean I'm some sort of nature freak or "activist". We all can play a part in giving back to Nature. Whether big or small, a little help always goes a long way. You don't have to be a volunteer, you don't have to be a rocket scientist. I can't dive and can't really swim, but I love marine life. So I volunteer with groups that visit intertidal areas during low tide. I admit I feel I don't make that much of a difference... I can't work the big videocams or fancy gadgets, but I have two arms and two legs, and a pair of working eyes. So I help to carry barang-barang, help to spot interesting creatures for others to document. If you browse through the lists of volunteer groups just in Singapore and Malaysia alone (even small little ones like the Cat Welfare Society), you'll find there's something for everyone.

If we all are to return to the Source someday, better to give what you can now, so you have less baggage with you on your final journey, don't you think?

Wet n Wild Full Moon Parties

I can almost smell the salt from the sea as a gentle breeze softly ushers the waves up to shore. It is still dark all around except for the moonlight and a few beams of light scattered around the shoreline.

Usually on a night like this, the beach would be dark and quiet unless you bothered to pay attention to the sound of snapping shrimps popping as they ward off predators. And if you listened really, really closely, perhaps you could hear the soft squish as a predatory moon snail grazes along a spongy bed of sea lettuce, or the tip-tapping of little claws as small crabs scurry from one rock to another. But not tonight. It's a full moon night, and the beach is alive!

I can almost picture my friends there (perhaps at BB Bar?), having the time of their lives, not bothered about how wet and dirty things get as the night wears on.

A girl calls out, "Orgy!" and everyone, guys and girls, all run towards her. I can almost feel the excitement, the adrenaline rush at each "full moon" event. I was there with them during the last full moon, but here I am now, back in Dubai, only able to savour the memories from last month, and feel a tinge of envy as I read others' blogs about the mischief they're up to now.

Now that I've settled back to life in Dubai, it's about time I posted pictures and stories of the "full moon parties" I attended while back in Singapore last month. Full moon, night, beach, guys, girls, some underaged... How could all this equate to good, clean fun? How can a marriage of these elements be not just legal, but good for Singapore?

I know some of you are hoping to see wild images of babes wearing nothing on them but foam but this is a different kind of wet n wild, a very different kind of full moon party. Not loud music but a rhythmic thumping in our heads from lack of rest. No alcohol, just lots of coffee and 100Plus to fuel our sleep-deprived bodies. So sometimes we'd be covered in mud, or touch another's 'booty' but it wasn't something we would consider kinky. Sometimes we had to produce our ICs at spotchecks, but we didn't have to worry about age limits either.

The only thing we had to worry about was Mother. Mother Nature that is. We mention Mother wearily if we look up and notice a reddish sky, threatening rain. Our "outings" to a beach or deserted island depended on the moon, the tides and not really the weather since we'd head out rain or shine unless Mother flashed streaks of lightning our way - her way of saying, "You're grounded. Now go to bed!"

Spring tides occur fortnightly, during the full moon or new moon, when the sea experiences the highest high tide and lowest low tide of the month. From May to July, we experience what some of us call the "superlows" (nothing to do with jeans that show off one's buttcrack to the utter disgust of others). This is when the tide sometimes goes down to a minus zero level. And this is when the volunteers from Wildfilms, Beachfleas and other intertidal-related groups have the wildest nights that sometimes stretch on till sunrise!

I'm part of the Wildfilms crew, although I haven't had much action for the past two years. So my trip home in June/July was planned 'swee-swee' to ensure that I'd be in Singapore during two 'superlow' periods and back in KL in between.

First trip out with Wildfilms and a few Beachfleas was to the stretch of beach at Changi Ferry Terminal. I always enjoy my intertidal explorations on Changi 'cos the shore here has so much to offer. You initially just see a flat shore, covered with muck and algae, but this is the perfect place to spot all sorts of creatures hiding or grazing amongst the large mats of seaweed and seagrass.

Clockwise from top left: Sea cucumber's mouth or anus (we're never sure!); Jellyfish; Sea pencil; Swimming anemone.

I know when I first posted pictures from this trip entitled 'Wild Changi', some visitors to my site hoped to see lewd images of certain individuals 'working' a certain carpark... Sorry, apart from my corny sex-related puns, this is very much PG-rated. The sexiest creatures at Changi this night are the Geographic sea hares.

Geographic sea hare (Syphonota geographica)

So cute and chubby! For some weird reason, most of us at Wildfilms share the same goo-goo-ga-ga fondness for slugs. I especially like how sea hares and nudibranchs are slow. Not like 'em little fishes and shrimps that tease and play hard to get 'cos they're usually too fast for me to catch on camera.

It is very sad though that Changi is a favourite spot for poachers, who scour the shore for anemone and other "exotic" marine life. They're "exotic" only because they are endangered, you greedy and ignorant fools!

Clockwise from top left: Juvenile flathead or dragonet?; Filefish; A slender prawn with peacock tail; Moon crab (Matuta lunaris).

Two mornings later, we're at it again. This time, just four of us from Wildfilms on a restricted trip to the Cyrene Reef (Terumbu Pandan). The boatman waits for daybreak to find the reef, so by the time we arrive, we only have an hour of low tide left to explore and document this reef flat. Chay Hoon reminds us that if we leave any later, we'd have to swim back to the boat carrying all the equipment. This always makes me kancheong as eerie images of me drowning while lugging something huge and bulky like the giant tripod come to mind.

Volunteers for seagrass transects on Cyrene would probably have to visit a chiropractor afterwards 'cos Cyrene is seagrass paradise. If dugongs and seahorses were Bollywood stars, Cyrene would be THE location for the compulsory song and dance routine.

A graceful leaf slug (Elysia sp.)

The Cyrene Reef is absolutely beautiful. Very much like the intertidal zone on Pulau Semakau, the reef flat is made up of a long stretch of sand and seagrass meadows, and coral rubble.

Unfortunately, we find out from a boatman on a later trip that Cyrene will be a gonner by 2015. Yup, another tragic victim of development as it is slated for what I call the "slammer" - a tank store will be built on it to cater to the petrochemical plants that were built on other fringing islands and reefs nearby.

I picture it very literally as a crane, lifting a cold, grey and obscenely large piece of metal, dropping it right smack on top of a beautiful reef or island, destroying all life on it while sending bits of flowing debris and sedimentation back to mainland. Slam! Very drama... but goodbye paradise, goodbye Bollywood dreams.

An elegant peacock anemone

So we appreciate it while it lasts. Document it on film, video, digital ink, as I, like other like-minded souls am doing here.

A cowfish!

Brown is beautiful...

In this pic above: What looks like a gross pile of poo is the cast of an acorn worm, and pictured next to it, the acorn worm's butt. Kinky! An acorn worm eats and shits all day, literally. One end gulps sand and the worm filters whatever nutrients or minerals it needs from here, passing out the rest through its other end!

Pictured bottom left is a pair sea stars doin' the 'nasty nasty', and on the right, a 'mutant' sea star tries to recreate the X-Men logo. Sea stars usually have arms in multiples of five - 5, 10, 15, 20... If it loses an arm, it can regenerate a new one. I've even seen a sea star with just one arm, still very much alive!


On a trip to the Sisters Islands, we found this very rare sea star, a Basket Star, pictured above. The reef that is exposed during low tide on Sisters Islands is amazing! Corals of all shapes, sizes, colours, textures... and equally colourful and interesting creatures to match.

Clockwise from top left: Anemone coral; Soft coral; Hard coral; Branching coral

Clockwise from top left: Red egg crab; Swimming crab; "Brown Blob"; Nudibranch (Discodoris boholensis)

You absolutely must check out the video of the "brown blob". In the red corner, we have the red egg crab, a highly poisonous crab.

Poisonous or venomous, what's the diff? Poisonous means, you eat, you probably die. Venomous means, you touch, or you kena bitten or stung, you die die sure suffer in pain.

Clockwise from top left: A blue dawn on Sisters; Mushroom coral; Filefish; Red seaweed.

The next morning, we head out to Pulau Hantu (Ghost Island) for another 'back-breaking' stint. More coral varieties, and more slugs!

Clockwise from top left: Nudibranch (Glossodoris atromarginata); Soft coral; Leathery soft coral (Sacrophyton sp.); Sunflower mushroom coral (Heliofungia actiniaria).

My final trip out with Wildfilms this year was to Pulau Sekudu (Frog Island). The shore was teeming with life, from the tiniest of crabs to seaweeds of all sorts. The carpet anemones came in green and violet, while white and gold peacock anemones danced in the morning light.

Clockwise from top left: Sea grapes (Caulerpa racemosa, a kind of seaweed - some varieties are edible); Red seaweed (Halymenia sp.); Avrainvillea seaweed; Brown or red seaweed (Champia lumbricalis?)

Then there were the 'weirdos' - those things that make you go "Ooh... uhh... ugh... wuddat?"

Clockwise from top left: Egg capsules of the Spiral melongena snail; Rose-red coloured sea sponge; Tunicate or ascidian; Beaded anemone with little tentacles retracted.

All 'virgins' to Pulau Sekudu can't leave without taking a compulsory picture of "the frog rock" (some joker added the eyes and smiley of course).


As the early sun grows with the tide, I savour the moment once more, taking in everything - the green and earth beneath my feet, the cool waters in the lagoon and the warmth of day. The sky is washed in shades of pink, purple and blue as the sun rises over our little island home. I could not have asked for a more beautiful morning to last me till my next visit back to Singapore.

Dubai Blues

I've got the blues.............

Ben keeps telling people, I feel bad for my wife... put her career on hold while I slog it out here, stuck alone at home, bored n lonely, sent out at least a hundred job applications, people offering her peanuts...

Then I keep reminding him that I'm the one having it easy since I just laze around all day. Stay up all night using the computer, then sleep till mid noon. I hardly even have to get out of my jammies or "house clothes" except for once a week when I go out to get groceries.

But a few days ago, I started feeling down n distant, not knowing why. And then suddenly, I cracked! I just got so fed up about the whole "drama" concerning my Powerbook adapter. Each time I call the shops, they say the same thing, "We've ordered it in, it will be here next week". And they say this every %^$&^@{ week! It's just so bloody frustrating and I wonder how people can be so obnoxious as to promise customers the same thing week after week but not deliver. Ben found out from a colleague that he's been waiting for the same adapter for his iBook since last year. He gave up calling the shops after 3 months, so now his laptop is just sitting around doing nothing, like most of the people here.

So, it finally got to me. The fact that all I do is wait. Waiting for Dubai to deliver. Waiting for promised phonecalls that never come. Waiting for a good job offer that seems unheard of for Asians here. Waiting for Ben to get home from work each day. Waiting for good news. Waiting for ANY news since the whole world seems to be moving except in Dubai. Waiting for actual "life" to begin, if not in this dreadful place, then anywhere else but here.

But everything is at a standstill for me. I feel as if the whole world moved on and left me behind. Life itself moved on, but I could not. All that's left behind is a shadow of who I am. Like Peter Pan, I desperately need some stitching.

So as ironic as it sounds, this "lady of leisure" is taking a break and retreating to Singapore and PJ for a month next week. Gotta regain my true colours once more 'cos blue just doesn't look good on me.

No Sugar For You Today

Sigh... Aerosmith played for one night only in Dubai last night. I didn't get to go 'cos my husband was working till midnight and I'm not "allowed" to go alone. I wouldn't go alone either even if I were allowed 'cos it would have been so weird. It's not like singing in the shower or laughing by yourself while watching a comedy alone at home. It's a rock concert! How to "rock" alone... Damn sedih man. And on top of that, people might presume that I'm from China, and some "single" women from China here are prostitutes, or just plain skanks, so I'd rather not risk being approached, or worse, getting hauled in by the police. Yep, the cops grab any Asian TomDick'n'Harry off the streets and lock them up for questioning. It's like "tangkap" first, ask questions later.

I don't need to read any articles or reviews post-concert 'cos I'm pretty damn sure the concert was freaking awesome. I really would have liked to go for the concert, very much. Really really... Really really. Instead, I had to settle for a night in listening to Aerosmith on iTunes. Lagi sedih. Now to ease my suffering, I'm gonna merajuk and take it out on my husband for no reason at all! Heh heh....

First, I'll delete all his Jay Chou songs from his iPod. But I can't replace them with Aerosmith 'cos he likes them too. So his Jay Chou playlist is now gonna suddenly start spouting a weird-ass mix of Def Leppard, Beethoven and Sheila Majid!

Oooh... and maybe I'll change the ringtones on his handphone to cheesy MIDI Aerosmith tunes! Finally, I'll hide his paintball gun, and when he looks for it, all he'll find is a note saying "Bernie's Got A Gun..."

Muah-ha-ha-HA!! MUAH-HA-HA-HAH!!!

Deliver Us From Dubai

Dubai is an evil place, I say. Eeevil! Eeeev-vil!! Not only has it turned me into a chubby, couch-surfer-potato, but I seem to have become a real bumbling idiot since coming to Dubai. First I killed my iPod. And just last week, I almost murdered my baby, Bob...

Bob is my Powerbook G4. Actually, I call all the Macs I've had before "Bob" for some unknown reason. So anyway, back to current Bob, who almost died in my clumsy hands... urm, feet actually. Being the typical short Asian, and wearing pyjamas that were bought from "angmoh-land", I tripped on my super-long pyjama pants, which then led me to trip over the power cord of my Powerbook, which then led to Bob FALLING!

Luckily, the power cord cushioned the fall a little, so Bob is unharmed and in good health, but in a temporary coma till I get a new power adaptor 'cos the needle part of it is a gonner.

So I headed out to the Mac Store at Ibn Battuta Mall, the ONLY Mac Store in the WHOLE of Dubai. As expected, based on Dubai standards, they were out of stock. Guy at the Mac shop says, there'll be new stock coming in on Thursday, so maybe the power adaptor will be here by Thursday.

I ask, maybe? What do you mean maybe?

--- Oh, we receive stock every Thursday, and this adaptor has been out of stock for more than two weeks already, so maybe it will arrive with this week's stock.
--- You mean you don't know what stock you're expecting?
--- No.
--- Are there other Mac stores in Dubai?
--- No.

--- Could you please call me on Thursday to let me know if the power adaptor is in?
--- Yes.

And of course, as expected, based on Dubai standards, he didn't call.

So I called the shop on Thursday and was informed that the adaptor did not arrive with the new stock. So how can I order it in? The guy quickly washes his hands of this "problem" by giving me the numbers of two Apple resellers in Dubai. These two did not have the Powerbook power adaptor either. One said new stock would be arriving next week, and another said maybe in two weeks.

I wasn't very upset about all this 'cos I already expected not to get a positive reply from any of these dumbasses. I mean, even Customer Service managers here can promise to call you back in 15 minutes or the next day, and then you don't hear from him or her ever again. This is the incompetent service standards that we're forced to bear with here, so I really wasn't expecting much. People here have no sense of urgency and no initiative whatsoever. The answer for everything is "Insya Allah" (God-willing). Like, Oh, I'm just gonna chat on the phone while speeding and running red lights. Insya-Allah, I won't get caught. Or, Hmm... 38 people have asked for the Powerbook Adaptor but it's out of stock and I'm just an employee. Insya-Allah someone from HQ will order it in with the coming new stock.

So if I actually ask the guy at the store, Is the adaptor arriving with this week's stock?, it's very normal to get a reply like, Insya-Allah, it will. Must be amazing to have so much faith huh. Apple Middle East does not have an online store, so if I was impatient, I could order it from Singapore n fork out a shitload of money to have it shipped over to this region. So I've decided to have a little "faith" and wait. Ben refuses to assimilate into the lepak-bo-chap culture here, so he was pissed.

So what did he do? He got a new baby! Here she is, a HP Pavillion dv6000 series.


I don't know if he actually has a name for her, but he definitely has a name for this other uber babe he drooled over at the computer shop. He wanted to get the latest iMac G5! Dubai has changed Ben too. From technological luddite, he's transformed overnight into this Mac-crazy, web-savvy techie! So Ben's like, for just a little more we could get this baby!

The one that got away...

Unfortunately I had to peel Ben away from the line-up of iMacs and he had to settle for the HP. Poor thing... His eyes still light up each time he goes on and on about how "sexy" this babe is.

After more than two weeks, waiting for a bloody Powerbook power adaptor to find its way to Dubai is like waiting for a miracle to happen. There are three shops that confirm that they've ordered it in, saying, call again on Monday, so when I do, they say, It didn't arrive this week, call again next Tuesday, and so I wait some more...... Ben and I are still waiting for Dubai to deliver. Or at least we pray, deliver us from Dubai.

Serendipity, Destiny n Soulmates

Ben had not seen the movie Serendipity before, so I borrowed the DVD for him last week. After watching it, he says it's a really nice movie but I think it's just 'cos Kate Beckinsale's in it. Anyway, I'd like to share my two cents' worth about destiny, and how it shouldn't be confused with serendipity.

I'm sure we all have believed in fate, destiny, that kinda stuff, in a hopeless-romantic-kinda-way, at a certain point in our lives. I mean, the fact that every step you take leads you somewhere is pretty idiotically obvious. But where it leads you or where you end up is what makes you believe it's serendipity, destiny, or just plain bad luck.

Like say, your neighbours decide to karaoke at 6 in the morning one day, so you wake up earlier than usual and decide to take the bus to work instead of a cab or the MRT, and on the bus, you meet X, who is, say, a long lost friend. So after this encounter, you keep in touch with X, and later get to know Z through X. Now Z turns out to be this really great girl or guy and you fall in love. So then you say, it's serendipity! We were destined to be together! If my damn neighbours didn't feel the need to kill every Celine Dion song in their karaoke directory that fateful morning, I may never have met Z!

But let's say, Z turns out to be pond scum, spends all your money, tells you you're a fat loser, and cheats on you. Destiny? Uh, I don't think so. You wouldn't even dare say something like, Oh, I was destined to meet Z anyway 'cos my experience with him/her taught me a lesson or two. No! At that point, you're heart-broken and ask yourself, why me?!! Your friends try to comfort you, saying all things happen for a reason, and you think that's the worst piece of crap you've ever heard.

Or let's say, you have all the qualifications necessary but just can't clinch that dream job 'cos that potential employer feels you're just not "white" enough, or you're too young or too old, or they just wanna hire anyone else but you. So you think, that's not destiny, it's just plain bull-crap. Or you have a fight with your boss and quit your job. Then you're left jobless and broke for many months. Now, you wouldn't call that fate 'cos it was you who decided to resign, right?

So then, some of us believe that we decide our own fate. It's in our hands. Or is it, really?

If you actually sketch out a chart of all the people you know... Draw the connections, y'know, like a Friendster or Multiply kinda structure or a family tree, but chronologically. People connected/related to you from as far back as you can remember till now. Not enough space, use mahjong paper or something lah.

Looking at this huge chart, think of every eventful moment in your life and note it down, chronologically too. Like, if that event did not take place, you wouldn't be where you are or who you are right now. If the event links to someone who's on the chart, draw the connection. If the event was of your own doing, circle it in red. If it was an act beyond your control, circle it green.

Now you may realise, that the red circles - what you may not consider "fate" - is connected by or connected to some people or "green" events on your chart. So what the heck does all this waste of time, marker ink and mahjong paper tell you? We can't really decide our fate. We have the power to make important decisions, the will to make significant changes, but it all still leads to someone or something, and that someone or something also had a path of its own, till his/her/its path met yours.

We are all destined to be somewhere, sometime, at some point or phase in our lives. We confuse "destiny" with "serendipity", reserving this term only for romantic stuff, but the good, and the bad, happen whether we like it or not. We may avoid disaster at one point, but encounter it at another. We sometimes come across a fork in the road, and years later, think about the "what ifs" if only we had chosen a different path. Whether you're in the shit right now, or in a very happy place, it's always good to remember that it's destiny that brought you to this very point.

So you made a big mistake which caused you to lose a lot of money, or lose a friend, or a "soulmate", or even a life. Believing in destiny doesn't mean you're not responsible for your mistakes, 'cos you definitely are. You COULD have done things differently. You COULD have said things differently. You COULD have thought twice before taking the plunge. But you DIDN'T. That's destiny.

Now that we're on this subject, here's what I think about "soulmates" too. Some of us don't believe in the "phenomenon" of finding one's soulmate. That soulmates don't exist. So the non-romantic version is that people just settle for someone who has the most "checks" on one's Mr or Ms Right list, and couples just live semi-happily ever after. Or you do meet someone who fits the bill, you're blissfully happy together, but you still don't believe in that fate-destiny-soulmate- all-the-pieces-fit kinda stuff.

Then there are the "soulmate-believers" who desperately search for The One. Now the trouble with this belief is that once you're in your 30s (or 28 for women) and still very, very single and alone, you begin to panic. You dread every Chinese New Year or big family gathering and weddings. You know... Nosey relatives or unknowingly insensitive friends turning to you and going, "So........" You know what question comes next. I remember when I attended my Montessori practical training and the lecturer asked me in front of the whole class, "You're 28, not married, and no boyfriend? Ayo! Poor thing! How come?" And everyone in class gasped and looked at me with pity.

So then you think, shit... Where the hell is my soulmate? Knight in shining armour too busy building a career while studying part-time to attain a bloody degree or Masters just to keep up with the brat-race? Damsels no longer in distress, knights waiting for their knights... What happened to the classic fairytale romance? So you either give up completely, thinking there's no such thing as a soulmate. Or you realise, "Sheila who gave me herpes or Darren who insisted that polygamy rocks was my soulmate and I let him/her slip away! I met my soulmate, The One for me, and I screwed up and now I'll have to settle for second best or just grow old alone."

It's pretty scary to believe in this kinda shit 'cos it messes with you big time. Then, there's the version of destiny-soulmate-romance that I'm most comfortable with. Firstly, we have to define "soulmate". A soulmate, not to be confused with a kindred spirit, refers to someone of the opposite sex, unless you are bisexual or homosexual of course (yes, gays can find gay soulmates too - It's a fair world out there for some). But like a kindred spirit, he/she relates to you in such a way that no one else can. You both share the same level of understanding, tolerance, passion... the list goes on. Everything fits, everything falls into place. It's like you were meant to be together, like two peas in a pod, almost like twins separated at birth except that that sounds a little too incestuous.

So I believe there are people out there who turn out to be one's soulmate. But a soulmate does not necessarily have to be The One you live happily ever after with. You could go through life never meeting one, or you could actually find more than one soulmate. Yes, more than One, so no such thing as The One and only. A soulmate does not have to end up becoming your spouse, or being "the one that got away". You could meet one when you're 20, another when you're 30, another when you're 50...

In the end, it's all about meeting the right one, at the right time. If you look back at past relationships you've had (just the good ones, and if you have a few to look back upon), you may realise that this person was so right for you but it just didn't work out. That doesn't mean that all hope is lost. It just means that you met a right one, but at the wrong time. Perhaps he/she was not ready, or vice versa. Or you get to know someone and the both of you get along so well, like soulmates, but he/she is already taken, or vice versa.

I guess that's why hopeless romantics like me believe that marriage isn't just a Sacrament or official solemnisation. It's not about finding The One and falling head over heels. It's all about destiny. Every step you took, and every step he took, every person you met, and every person he met, every significant moment and decision in each of your lives that spun that messy web all over your mahjong paper till, at that very precise and perfect moment, your paths crossed.

This is Sparta?

Weapons of Mass Destruction

Benjamin, pronounced ben-yah-meen in Arabic, has picked up a penchant for guns and weapons ever since coming to the United Arab Emirates, causing fear and terror among colleagues, and even creating our once peaceful household into a Special Weapons And Tactics training zone. His two years of training in the army has proven useful, as he is able to apply a bit of what he was trained to do in combat here. Skills like target accuracy and war strategy, as well as a no fear, no holds barred type of aggression.

Some of his victims are wiped out mercilessly ever since he acquired this powerful and deadly weapon from Malaysia.

Purchased from his mother-in-law’s favourite household supplies shop in PJ Old Town. 'Em mozzies and flies stand no chance against the mighty Benyahmeen, the one-man "SWAT" force, if they dare venture into our humble abode.


Here he is, decked out in full gear, with a gun he purchased recently, through a counterpart’s contact.


It’s a Piranha R6 E-Force - .68 caliber full-auto paintball marker, equipped with threaded aluminium barrel (aerospace grade), raised sight rail, velocity adjust and electro mechanical multi-mode trigger frame. Powered by CO2 or N2, it delivers 12+ shots per second!


Ben picked up the Paintballing hobby recently with a bunch of colleagues. He actually only went once on 1st May, and a whole group of 60 colleagues have another session planned on 31st May. Bad news for me, since Aerosmith is performing in Dubai for one night only on that day. Good news for the mozzies and flies since there'll be at least one day of ceasefire.

Seeing Stars

The 8th and 9th of May is our wedding anniversary. 8th and 9th, 'cos Benjamin and I were officially married at the Registrar of Marriages in Singapore on 8th May 2006, and then married in Assumption Church, PJ the following day.

Ben won a free night's stay at the Burj Al Arab from a lucky draw held at a senior chefs' party last year, so we celebrated our first anniversary a few days ago at the Hotel.

Inside view of the hotel floors from mezzanine, night, and day.

Burj Al Arab boasts that it's the only SEVEN-star all-suite hotel in the world, but the 6th and 7th stars are self-appropriated. So Ben and I thought, 7-star? Let's put their name to the test...

Check-in time is 3pm, and we are greeted at the entrance by Hanna, a personal guest services executive, whom we know.

The "white" part of the Hotel (the "billowing sail" part). Pictured on the right is the view of the lobby and mezzanine from above.

While waiting for Hanna to process our check-in, I look around the lobby, flanked on each side by floor-to-ceiling marine aquariums. There are two divers in the "tanks", feeding the fish. Ben says they are not contracted divers, but regular staff of the Hotel.

The walls on each floor is painted a different colour tone to create that rainbow-gradient effect.

Hanna escorts us to our suite on the 9th floor, and introduces us to the concierge. Every floor has a personal concierge, who is at the guests' beck and call 24 hours a day. Apart from the usual housekeeping personnel, there are also personal butlers should you wish to have things "done" for you.

The view of each floor from above, and the concierge desk on each floor.

We are upgraded from a "normal" suite to a panoramic suite, which is supposed to be about two and a half times the size of a "normal" one. Panoramic suites are located at the "corners" of the Hotel, two per level.

We have mentioned before that all suites are made up of two floors, and so the first thing that greets us as we enter the suite is the grand staircase from the first floor, up to the bedroom.


Ben n I spend the next few minutes taking pictures all over the suite. I skip and sashay from one end of the suite to the other, as Ben performs cartwheels and stunts.


The view to our left is Jumeirah Beach Hotel, and Madinat Jumeirah to the right. On the other side of the suite, the whole length of the Palm Jumeirah is visible on the horizon.


We are given fresh fruits (served on a silver platter, literally), dates, Arabic sweet and savoury tidbits, orange juice and a complimentary bottle of red wine.


Ben and I also enjoy the last piece of our wedding cake, saved from last year, frozen and brought over all the way from PJ. (From the lovely cake from Aunty Rita, not the ghastly, gaudy blue one).


A remote control works the TV, as well as the curtains. If someone rings the doorbell, a camera connected to the TV shows you who's at the door. Movie and Playstation DVDs are available from the concierge should a guest wish to have some "clean" in-suite fun.


Another TV is located on the second level, facing the infamous bed with the large mirror above it. This one's not the kinky revolving one though... That bed is only available in the Royal Suite.


The pillows are SUPER soft! I mean, really, seriously, super-duper soft. You feel as though you're lying on cotton candy as your head softly settles into a pillow of clouds...

The bathroom on the second floor is probably the most extravagant of all. One look at it and you go, Whoa...

All the toiletries are super-sized, free to use as you wish or to take home. We're talking full-sized bottles of Hermès perfumes, lotions, shampoos, shower gels, plus bath salts and bath effervescents... Even the men's razor isn't one of those cheapo disposable ones that one would have to pay for at a hotel in Taiwan. It's a Gillette Mach-whatever one!

So, many hotels have jacuzzi-equipped bathrooms... But here, we also have "power in the shower"! An additional 3 jets for the ultimate shower experience!


Ben and I head down to the beach before sunset. A buggy takes us to Majlis al Bahar, the cafe/bar by the beach. We walk towards Jumeirah Beach Hotel, and then back the other way towards Mina a'Salam (at Madinat Jumeirah).


We order some snacks and drinks which cost AED220.


Our dinner reservation at Al Mahara is at 10pm, and we are escorted to the waiting area for the "submarine" ride to the restaurant. After sitting in the "submarine" for about 10 minutes, we are informed to take the elevator instead 'cos the sub is out of order. We're told this happens quite often and just last week, a few guests were trapped in the sub when it broke down halfway.

The "submarine" seats about 8 people. It's supposed to be a "simulated submarine ride" but is actually just a tram of some sort.

We are seated next to the giant aquarium, and the restaurant seats about 70-80 guests.

Our table is the only one in the restaurant with two wine buckets, as we are served rosé champagne the minute we're seated, and have a bottle of Riesling too. I probably had only half a glass of each.

Darrell, the Chef de Cuisine, comes up to our table a few times to present a particular dish or just to chat, as the menu is specialised for us. Ben turns pale and looks at me wearily as Darrell describes one of the dishes... "Shark's fin broth, shark's fin springroll..."


The caviar dish is superb! And the amount of Beluga caviar we're served (30gms each) can pay for 2 return tickets back to Singapore!

Throughout dinner, Ben insists that the huge humphead wrasse is terrorising him, as it swims past slowly and stares at him with its big, bulging eyes.


The soup course, lobster bisque with cognac, kinda gets us hammered. The ratio of cognac to bisque is like 3:1. I still finish half of it 'cos you know how I love soup, but Ben is a gonner after a few spoonfuls. So that spoils the rest of our dinner 'cos our heads are pounding and we can no longer enjoy any more wine or champagne.


The palate cleanser before the main course is also laced with hard liquor, so after a few sips, Ben n I are both cross-eyed and seeing stars.

It really is a pity that we're both so full and mabuk by the time the main course is served 'cos it's really yummy. Turbot and foie gras... a REALLY huge piece of FG. I have to say though, I can't be a fine dining gourmand leh... I don't really like foie gras! I find it kinda yucky and "jelak". But paired with the turbot and sauce, it's really good. If only I could have "ta-pau"ed my leftovers, 'cos I must have wasted at least 80gms of super expensive FG there.

Ben brings me to the kitchen to meet a few of the guys and see where he works. After dinner, we're presented with a lovely chocolate mousse gateau, which we have to "ta-pau" as we're too full to even look at it. Boris, the manager, sits with us for a while after most of the guests have left, enjoying a glass of wine while talking about fine wines, terroirs, etc.

Not your ordinary carpark

After leaving the restaurant, we walk around the Hotel to take photos.


We get back to the suite at about 2am. The turndown service presents us with red roses, heart-shaped chocolates and a pair of souvenir face towels on the bed.


Ben K.O.s right after a shower. I find out that the super-soft pillows aren't that super after all 'cos Ben's drunken snores seem to vibrate through the clouds of Egyptian cotton and add to the pounding in my head. I manage to get just about an hour of sleep, and Ben n I are both up by about 6.00am, feeling really lousy.


We have our complimentary breakfast alfresco at Bab al Yam, and take more photos of the hotel.

Lobby and tiered-fountain

Check-out time is at 12noon, but we're both so sleepy and hungover that we leave the Hotel at about 10.30am.

Mezzanine level

Apart from the excess alcohol that killed our night and morning after, we still had a marvelous time, and were truly blown away by the Hotel.

Complimentary cake and bouquet of roses

Pampered with flowers, and goodies, and gifts, amidst luxurious and extravagant interiors... treated like royalty... Ben says it's gonna be hard to top this anniversary. And we both agree, they deserve their 6th and 7th stars.

More pics at Flickr or Multiply.