Thursday, September 28, 2006

Busuk, Bising n Bodoh

Yup, BUSUK! BISING! BODOH! These 3 words best describe The Housemate n his other smelly, noisy n dumbass friends from the same country. I’ve never been racist or one who really groups people into stereotypes… but seriously!! This is too much!

There were two occasions when Ben n I were on the shuttle bus, and when one or two people of That nationality got up the bus, the whole bus would REEK of this awful smell. It’s really bad… especially since we ourselves are Chinese, just not from the same country. So it worries us that we might be mistaken for them, thus labelled as smelly, noisy n stupid too.

The smell is like… ayo… just really smelly lah. I said to Ben it’s like maybe they didn’t shower for a few days or something. But he said, even back in his army days when the guys were out in the jungle for days, they never smelled as bad. So we guessed maybe it’s their diet… but to smell that bad, one would have to be on a diet of pork ass and goat fart man.

So I was thinking, luckily The Housemate is one of ‘em “clean ones”. THEN, one evening, I was watching TV in the hall when The Housemate came back from work, and Damn! The whole hall started to smell! And to make things worse, he didn’t go and shower right away. He sat in the hall for a while, walked in and out of his room, cooked and ate dinner, lingered around some more, and only went to shower at around midnight. I felt I had to disinfect and Lysol the whole couch if I were to dare to sit on it again.

Now I’m so conscious that I might start smelling like them if I sit on the couch, and so conscious not to lean back in case my hair absorbs any smelly stuff from the sofa. Now this fella, he showers every night, but doesn’t in the morning before going off to work. Yes, Aunty Bernie has been doing her “homework” and studying this smelly character. But even then, he has a regular 9-6 office job, and eats at the hotel’s staff canteen where everyone else eats. What gets him reeking of maggot eaten dead rat by the time he gets home at 7.30? What gets all of ‘em smelling like that?

Of course I’ve never been to China, and I have relatives there so I’m trying my best not to be rude, but the kind of Chinese nationals that you get here are a real embarrassment to the rest of the Chinese anywhere else in the world I’m sure. So first is how they’re “busuk”. Now we go on to “bising”.

They’re so noisy, I have to use a whole lot of Hokkien n Cantonese vulgarities if I wanna complain about it to Ben ‘cos it’s really getting to me. But I can’t complain to Ben ‘cos he’s already disliked them even before I came here, and he can’t live without his iPod cos the noise drives him bloody mad. They’re LOUD! Especially the Chinese girls. Bloody loud and absolutely “hiao”. Stupid bimbotic noisy skanky @#$%*&! Think Zhang Zhi Yi, who on her own is already bloody irritating, multiply that by 10, with all of them talking in this really high pitch “nyeh nyeh” kinda voice, and squealing n screaming every now n then. You get this noise on the bus, and even worse, at home when The Housemate has his smelly friends over.

Sometimes he has a whole bunch of them. They come, stink up the place, cook in the kitchen and leave it in a dreadful mess, use my stuff like no tomorrow… From the start we were nice, share rice, oil, salt, pepper, eggs… Bought a rice cooker n electric kettle and let The Housemate use it too. But the @##$%* had a “party” quite soon after we bought our rice cooker. The aftermath of this Fellowship of the Smellies was awful. I found a DEEP scratch in the rice pot. Our NEW rice pot. And the stupid smelly bimbos also found a way to burn a Tefal non-stick spatula. What’s worse was that after the party, The Housemate didn’t bother to replace it with a new one, but simply washed this and kept it back in the kitchen drawer.

Now I have to resort to being some sort of spy or Scrooge, counting every egg and how much rice and stuff he uses, and waiting to see if he’ll take turns to buy this stuff when it’s finished. Damn smelly Housemate and his smelly, noisy freeloader friends. Ben already told him nicely twice, that if he has friends over, they have to keep the noise level down, and clean up after.

Ya he cleans up all right. By using up half a bloody roll of my kitchen towels. Now I even have to keep my kitchen towels safely in the bedroom wardrobe, and sneak out a sheet at a time when I wanna use it. And keeping the noise down? That’s like asking Paris Hilton to say no to sex, drugs n alcohol.

Sometimes The Housemate has just one girl over. If I thought the The Housemate was “bodoh” she’s worse. The Housemate sits in front of the TV even when there’s no reception and just a message on the blank screen saying “Service Disrupted”. The Housemate squats in front of the washing machine watching the laundry spin. And of course you know the one about him trying to grow taugeh in a tin. But this girl, she’s even dumber than him! And they’re both Management Trainees! Now when this girl is over, it sounds like there are 5 girls in the apartment. She’s @#$%* loud. And she just talks and talks and talks. No, she bellows. And this bimbo doesn’t know nuts. Not only does she not understand what I say when I try to speak as slowly as possible, she speaks in a bimbotic American accent thinking it’ll make her sound like she actually can speak English, and after I say anything, she gets The Housemate to translate it for her. She says she loves watching TV, but only watches MTV. And she doesn’t even know how to cook or clean.

So little miss epitome of busuk, bising n bodoh just comes over to the apartment almost every night, makes a HELL of a noise while The Housemate cooks, and he even has to clean up cos she’s so stupid she doesn’t know how to either. Sometimes if I’m watching TV, she or The Housemate will just pick up the remote and start flipping channels. And most of the time they end up watching MTV cos they say Grey’s Anatomy or Criminal Minds has too much “talking”.

The other night there were two bimbos. This same one, and another. I was watching Suddenly Susan, and they were discussing with each other that this show was Friends, and Brooke Shields was Monica... Duh!

Anyway, now that I've finally found time to publish this post, a big event has taken place... Budak Busuk just moved out a couple of days ago! Big drama... Will have a different post about that up soon.

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