Friday, November 21, 2008

Eida ai-dee

Here's a quick update about the UAE ID Card 'situation'. It's such a mess and there've been so many complaints about the whole registration process that they've come up with a few desperate measures.

EIDA's website still crashes or hangs when anyone tries to access the page for the online application form. And I think I may have wasted my Dhs.40 for the darn "special" envelope that I purchased from Empost. Cos I really don't know when they might mail me the "proper" form. Insya-Allah... next week? Next month? Next year?

Now, several organisations have chipped in, and provide a link for people to download a "special" software. I've tried it and it's quite a good idea actually. You simply download the zipped file, extract, install the application named "pre-registration". Click here to download the file.

Open the "pre-registration" program, fill in your details, and click Save & Print. What the software does is gather all your info, and save it as a PDF file on the "proper" bar-coded form. This works well, cos at least, if you don't have a laser printer, you can send this PDF file to someone who does, who can then print it out for you on a LASER printer as instructed.

Note that this only eases the PRE-registration process. Now you have to go down to your nearest EIDA office and queue, queue, queue. Most people who've survived this drama spent about 4-5 hours at EIDA, waiting, queuing, waiting some more... Some wait almost 6 hours, only to be told that they've exceeded their "quota" for the day and to come back another day... to queue and wait all over again. You've have to be like that torchlight in the old Eveready battery ad - dan lagi, dan lagi, dan lagi...

Some wait outside the office from as early as 4am, just to get in line. But if you know Dubai, then you also know that "waiting in line" means rushing to a counter like lemmings to the cliff's edge. Yup, NO LINE. No order. No system. Everyone just rushes and crowds the counter, pushing, shoving and shouting to get the "one guy"'s attention.

Actually, they have a system. It just doesn't work.

I've been reading all sorts of horror stories from 'survivors' and am really dreading my Date with Eida. But I think I might just forget about waiting for Empost and just use this "software", print the bar-coded form, and get to an EIDA office asap. Cos who knows when Empost will mail the "proper" form to me, or maybe they might send me an SMS weeks later to say that they found an error on my form after "scrutinizing" it for one month. Makes me think of a certain racist joke about a fella staring at a bottle of Tang Orange cos it said "Full Concentrate".

Oh, and the 31st Dec deadline? Now they say that the Dhs.1,000 fine wont be imposed on professional expats who don't meet the deadline, and get this, they also won't freeze your bank accounts as previously threathened! And professional expats can still register for the card after the 31st Dec deadline. But they also say, this does not mean that the deadline has been extended. Once again, WHUUUUDD?

Ok, let me see. The deadline of 31st December still stays, but you can still register after the deadline. So, what's the deadline for? I think they're just trying to weird us out. Like that kid in The Matrix who bends the spoon but says it's not the spoon that bends but you. There is no spoon.

Here's a funny thing about the pre-registration software-form-thingie though. In the name field, First Name and Middle Name is compulsory, whereas Family Name is optional. And get this, there's also a field for Famous Name. Seriously, seriously! Oooh... so many choices! I've narrowed it down to The One&Only, or Bernie The Brave. Now I'm gonna spend the rest of the day scrutinizing these two Famous names, and the tribal council will meet tonight to vote out the weaker of the two.

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